Saturday, August 17, 2013

It's very hard to tell people I can't do things due to my Chronic Illnessess/Diseases

Right now I am at at 10-20.  I would say that I fall into a 15 if it were on the chart above!  I am have severe symptoms and am in bed about 17 hours a day!  I was able to leave the house for 1 day this week which was yesterday and there was one day when I was hardly able to get online for more than 1/2 hr at a time and rest for two hours between the segments of 1/2 hours.  And that was for a total of 2 hours.  Most of it was LIKING pictures and groups I didn't belong to yet about Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness/Disease.  I am stopping right here to take a 1 hour break from the computer.  I will most likely need to take the pain pill if I wish to continue on the computer today doing the things I need to get done today and for that to be done I will need to be on no longer that 1/2 hour at a time (even with the pain pill). 

This is a close to perfect example of where all my chronic pain points are while sitting in a chair.  Never on the floor. 

Rest Ministries has shared:  

“What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? (Job 6:11)

One of the most problematic issues for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses is the “expectations game.” It is this endless game we can never win. When others, and even ourselves, have continued unrealistic expectations about our abilities, it often leads to disappointment and even discouragement.

I have tried hard to be realistic about my abilities and limitations due to illness. Yet like most of you, I want to believe I can do more, and accomplish more in spite of my illness than is often possible. I want to make promises, agree to do things that are often out of my reach because of illness. And when we make promises we cannot keep, we end up disappointing others and ourselves.

We are eager to please others, we want the approval of others, yet when we can’t meet their expectations, they become angry, we become angry, and we may even feel guilty, and no one is pleased with the outcome.

Perhaps one of the hardest things with our disabilities is to simply say: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” Honesty may not make everyone happy, but you cannot afford to make promises your disability is unable to keep.

Jesus tells us that “the truth shall set you free” (John 8:23). And though it may not make everyone happy, including ourselves, I believe truth and honesty about our abilities is a much better policy that “wishful thinking” that will surely disappoint.

Friends, we must be honest about our illnesses, even when it may not be what others want to hear.

Truth is a better, more sure standard, to live by than unreasonable optimism. Let us be hopeful, let us push our limits where we can, but let us also be honest and truthful when it comes to our illness and abilities, and then let God take care of the rest.

Prayer: Dear Lord, how we hate our limitations, but let us always be honest about them. Amen.


bookworm said...

My mother had rheumathoid arthritis. She (and I, growing up with her) found out early on how cruel people can be in their interactions with someone who has an invisible disability. That was many years ago, but, more recently, I used to participate in a troop support organization with someone who was permanently disabled (but looked, quote, "normal") thanks to Lyme Disease. She shared some of her experiences with me. I send you some hugs; I also worked (years ago) with a woman who had fibromalgia. I fear some of these people who "just don't get it" won't unless "it" happens to them. Sad!

Carolyn M said...

Thank you BookWorm! It's so good to hear from others who understand this horrible fibromyalgia and also the degenerative discs that seem to be getting worse. I thank my husband for being my best friend and the one who understands it the best. Even my family (my sister and her husband and daughter) just don't seem to get it and neither does my father. My mom is a nurse and had bad discs and surgery and she totally understands chronic pain. I so appreciate you sharing from your own mom's experiences and how cruel people can really be. When I wear my brace, I feel like wearing it on the outside but I don't. It's interesting how many strangers at the parking lot will ask you why you are parking in the handicapped spot if you don't have a wheelchair! I say that the blue card hanging there says that I'm handicapped and that's all they need to know.

Delfin Joaquin Paris III said...

I am so sorry you're in bed most of the day - I'm proud of you for finding the strength to write and share. Keep it up and a speedy recovery!

Margie Munoz said...

I too suffer from fibromyalgia and although I look "normal," I know the pain I am going through. God give us courage to overcome the obstacles before us.

The Mom Show said...

I know a few people with fibromyalgia.. it's so hard for them to explain exactly what their illness is and how it feels for them.

Keisha Hanvy said...

I am sorry about your pain and having to be in bed. I have come to understand more about disabilities and limitations since my step dad found out he had MS several years ago, since then his muscles have been deteriorating and he can barely walk. While we do have to be hopeful I believe you are right in knowing and being truthful about your limitations. God Bless You!

Keisha Hanvy said...

I'm sorry to hear about your limitations and having to stay in bed so much. It is awesome that you use the skills you still can like writing to encourage and help others. I have come to understand disabilities and limitations more as I have saw my step dad after being diagnosed with MS several years ago slowly become less and less able to do and can barely walk at this point. I do think you are right however, even though we must remain hopeful being honest about our abilities is the best thing for all.

Corinne Schmitt said...

I'm so sorry to hear how much you are suffering! I have a friend with fibromyalgia and it is a tricky and frustrating illness. Your advice about being truthful about our limitations can be broadly applied to many of us. I have a loved one who is an alcoholic who often makes promises they cannot keep and extend them beyond their abilities, because they truly want to do more than what their affliction allows them to do.

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