Sunday, December 25, 2011

LEAVE and CLEAVE is so important to your marriage!




That is often the picture we see when we're hearing about couples having trouble with "leaving and cleaving."  But did you know that in my very life I have been holding onto my father and not leaving and cleaving to my husband?  And to some extent my mother too!   I was raised in a very strict home where you often heard, "Honor thy mother and father."  This has been total confusion to me.  A little bit more before I move on with this entry.  This is really a letter to my husband because I've been unfair to him.  I spent years and years just adoring my father more than my husband.  I wanted my husband to be like my dad (in all the good ways) and  telling him the way that my father would do things.  I think it's true that we marry people who are like our parents.  Not all the time, but quite often.  In this case I married a man who is very much like my father.  Even down to the joking (which I don't get all the time, but I appreciate that we aren't the same!)


I hope you can read all those wonderful words!  This is my new dedicated prayer to my husband!  I cherish him and do "honor" him in so many ways.  Our relationship with our husbands need to be a personal and cherished relationship!  My husband will never be my father (and for some things I'm very grateful he isn't.)  You have to be deliberate in working on yourself through the power of the Holy Ghost, so that you can work at your marriage. Many times we go from one relationship to another thinking this time it will be better, however we see the same problems and patterns repeat themselves over and over. Casting the blame on Satan, our spouses, and anyone else that we can find a way to fix some blame to. The truth of the matter is we can't change our spouses but we can change ourselves with God's help. Each party in a marriage brings with them baggage (unhealed hurts, unmet needs, unresolved issues) to the table. Each partner has a responsibility to share openly what their fears and hang ups are. This way they can cover (protect) those areas for each other, so that healing and growth can take place.

5 comments:

Seasons of Grace said...

Your post is very thoughtful and true. It is hard to break those ties, even after years. Not to compare our spouses with our fathers. I know I struggle with that alot. Definitely need the Holy Spirit working and guiding in my life and my marriage, and praying this new year I can be a wife who loves more through the spirit in me the way God loves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Carolyn M said...

Thank you so much! My husband read it and gave me a huge kiss! Every time I try to point the finger at him or Satan them God is showing me that I need to make the changes in my life.

Melissa McDonald said...

Thanks for posting the Leave & Cleave blog. It helped me so much.It is so very accurate & in the upcoming year I'm going to strive to be a better wife & person. I have many obstacles in my way right now,but with God's help, I know I can overcome them.

Lisa said...

Great Words Of Wisdom & Sooooo True, I Like Your Thinking!!

randy fulgham said...

THIS IS REALLY NICE ARTICLE-HAPPY THANKSGIVING

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