Coming out of 20 weeks of various kinds of pain and the first one I want to share with you is the FIBROMYALGIA pain of 18 weeks. The chart above here shows all that I was experiencing (and am still experiencing but not to the degree that I had it for 18 weeks). Fibromyalgia is a disease and along with that I have Degenerative Disc Disease so once the Fibro. goes into flare up then all the discs are in pain and giving me sharp stabbing pains. I was definitely in a flare-up and for 9 of those weeks I was in bed!
But, the Lord laid on my heart to go through the "Woman After God's Own Heart" book and workbook by Elizabeth George and I spent so much time in the Word and praying and thanking God for everything! I'm going to finish this Bible Study very soon. As a matter of fact I took 2 weeks off of Face Book duties to groups to complete this and blog and read two books that I need to do reviews for and have a giveaway with one of those books.
Being a true "woman after God's own heart" is so difficult. I struggle with this every day. As a matter of fact there were some days in my Bible reading that I just broke down to the Lord and in my Prayer and Thanksgiving Journal I just wrote so many things to the Lord. One day in particular I spent away from the Bible Study and just wrote a really long letter to the Lord. That's all I could handle that day.
The weeks of the Bible Study are about:
- Intro: A Heart For God's Word
- A Heart for Blessing in Prayer
- A Heart for Passion in Prayer
- A Heart for Discipline
- A Heart for Your Husband
- A Heart for Your Children
- A Heart for Your Home
- A Heart for Spiritual Growth
- A Heart for Service
- A Woman After God's Own Heart
Right now I'm reviewing the Heart for Spiritual Growth (I need to) and then completing the last 2 weeks of the study. I want to have this done for the New Year so I can start in my next Bible Study which is RUTH. I'll write about that as I'm going through the study!
The next pain that is still going on is the FINANCIAL PAIN. There were 2 weeks there where I didn't think we were going to have enough food to feed us and to pain our Gas Bill which was about to be shut off. Well I cried out for help to two groups.... a coupon group and a blogger group. And they gave me a TON of coupons! There were free food ones there, and many dollars off of products (that we don't get here in S. Calif. but because these gals came from the South I was able to get more money off the food!) I also am indebted to a wonderful woman on one of these groups who gave me a blogging job to come in January and advertising on my blog for she and her friend! That money is what saved us. I am going to write a separate blog entry to thank her and the wonderful coupon gals and the wonderful friends who sent $25.00 gift certificates that John and I are able to buy Christmas gifts for each other and our dog!! Thank you Lord for sending these specific people at this specific time. The lesson that I learned from that is HUMILITY. I truly had to rely on the hearts of other people at that time and that was so hard, I never had to do that before in my life!
And as I've been describing my pain, I also suffered Spiritual Pain. I wasn't trusting the Lord completely to meet all our needs. And he brought specific people (from groups on Face Book and women in the ministry on my email lists and stumble upon) to send me the right verses and passages at the time and continue to in order to show me that I need to have complete reliance in the Lord for ALL things!
It was only when I completely trusted in the Lord that the blessings began to flow. I found that my love was in Him and in my husband and I completely relied on them. Just like Elizabeth George was teaching in her Bible Study, "The Woman After God's Own Heart." God forgave me for not trusting in Him and brought about so much love and understanding and so much more for Him and my husband.