We are learning this with the new dog now: Positive Reinforcement

credit: PopSugar Pets

The first training we are receiving to help us with Darcie is the standard positive reinforcement and we must master this at home before going to dog obedience school at the first opening in two weeks from now.

We put Sandie through basic and advanced obedience school when she was 2 (9 years ago) and now we are starting again with Darcie.   These pictures are of Sandie completing obedience school.

Dogs don't care about money. They care about praise … and food. Positive reinforcement training uses praise and/or treats to reward your dog for doing something you want him to do. Because the reward makes him more likely to repeat the behavior, positive reinforcement is one of your most powerful tools for shaping or changing your dog's behavior.
Rewarding your dog for good behavior sounds pretty simple, and it is! But to practice the technique effectively, you need to follow some basic guidelines.

Timing is everything

Correct timing is essential when using positive reinforcement.

• The reward must occur immediately—within seconds—or your pet may not associate it with the proper action. For example, if you have your dog sit but reward him after he's stood back up, he'll think he's being rewarded for standing up.
• Using a clicker to mark the correct behavior can improve your timing and also help your dog understand the connection between the correct behavior and the treat.

Keep it short

Dogs don't understand sentences. "Daisy, I want you to be a good girl and sit for me now" will likely earn you a blank stare.
Keep commands short and uncomplicated. The most commonly used dog commands are:

• watch me
• sit
• stay
• down (which means "lie down")
• off (which means "get off of me" or "get off the furniture")
• stand
• come
• heel (which means "walk close to my side") 
• leave it

Consistency is key

Everyone in the family should use the same commands; otherwise, your dog may be confused. It might help to post a list of commands where everyone can become familiar with them.

Consistency also means always rewarding the desired behavior and never rewarding undesired behavior.

When to use positive reinforcement

The good: Positive reinforcement is great for teaching your dog commands, and it's also a good way of reinforcing good behavior. You may have your dog sit

• before letting him out the door (which helps prevent door-darting)
• before petting him (which helps prevent jumping on people)
• before feeding him (which helps teach him good meal-time manners).

Give him a pat or a "Good dog" for lying quietly by your feet, or slip a treat into a Kong®-type toy when he's chewing it instead of your shoe.

The bad: Be careful that you don't inadvertently use positive reinforcement to reward unwanted behaviors. For example, if you let your dog outside every time he barks at a noise in the neighborhood, you're giving him a reward (access to the yard) for behavior you want to discourage.

Shaping behavior

It can take time for your dog to learn certain behaviors. You may need to use a technique called "shaping," which means reinforcing something close to the desired response and then gradually requiring more from your dog before he gets the treat.

For example, if you're teaching your dog to "shake hands," you may initially reward him for lifting his paw off the ground, then for lifting it higher, then for touching your hand, then for letting you hold his paw, and finally, for actually "shaking hands" with you.

Types of rewards

Positive reinforcement can include food treats, praise, petting, or a favorite toy or game. Since most dogs are highly food-motivated, food treats work especially well for training.

• A treat should be enticing and irresistible to your pet. Experiment a bit to see which treats work best for your pet.
• It should be a very small (pea-size or even smaller for little dogs), soft piece of food, so that he will immediately gulp it down and look to you for more. Don't give your dog something he has to chew or that breaks into bits and falls on the floor.
• Keep a variety of treats handy so your dog won't become bored getting the same treat every time. You can carry the treats in a pocket or fanny pack.
• Each time you use a food reward, you should couple it with a verbal reward (praise). Say something like, "Yes!" or "Good dog," in a positive, happy tone of voice. Then give your dog a treat.

If your dog isn't as motivated by food treats, a toy, petting, or brief play can be very effective rewards.

When to give treats

When your pet is learning a new behavior, reward him every time he does the behavior. This is called continuous reinforcement.

Once your pet has reliably learned the behavior, you want to switch to intermittent reinforcement, in which you continue with praise, but gradually reduce the number of times he receives a treat for doing the desired behavior.

• At first, reward him with the treat four out of every five times he does the behavior. Over time, reward him three out of five times, then two out of five times, and so on, until you're only rewarding him occasionally.
• Continue to praise him every time—although once your dog has learned the behavior, your praise can be less effusive, such as a quiet but positive, "Good dog."
• Use a variable schedule of reinforcement so that he doesn't catch on that he only has to respond every other time. Your pet will soon learn that if he keeps responding, eventually he'll get what he wants—your praise and an occasional treat.

Caution! Don't decrease the rewards too quickly. You don't want your dog to become frustrated.

By understanding positive reinforcement, you'll see that you're not forever bound to carry a pocketful of goodies. Your dog will soon be working for your verbal praise, because he wants to please you and knows that, occasionally, he'll get a treat, too.

  Day 5:

Guest Post: How to get rid of the verification code and still moderate the messages

Long time bloggers usually are tired of the "verification code" that many new bloggers don't even know about on their blog. 

Here is Joyti's explanation which is very simple to understand. 

If you are like me who wants to read and comment on interesting blog posts, you may be getting really annoyed about the really hard to read verification codes or CAPTCHA codes for comments on blogger.com

Here are some examples of word verification codes I encountered recently!

This is after the first unsuccessful attempt of typing the verification code. I got work to do people, I ain't got no personal assistant!

And here is another - as if a shorter word couldn't have done the job!!

I'd die of old age by the time I am able to successfully type this nonsense! No need to say I'd not even try!  

According to blogger, this is done to make sure your blog does not get spam comments, but that's why you have spam control blogger! (duh!) I actually try and take pain to put those meaningless words in the box, but my patience is running very low these days, and if you still have the word verification code on your blog, I really urge you to remove them. I'd rather do something more fun with my time when I am on your blog! Not only it will be easy for your readers, you will increase the number of comments on your blog and get the conversation going!
Please check the settings on your blogger dashboard, may be you don't really know that you have comment verification 'ON'. Here is an easy way to turn off that pesky word verification codes on blogger.

Log in blogger.com and go to dashboard, do you see Settings? Click on it. (circled in red below)

Now click on Comments tab (circled in red below)

When you click on comments you will see the question 'Show word verification for comments?' Set it to 'NO' as shown below

Please share/tweet/mail this so that my (and yours) overworked, underpaid blogger eyes don't have to see another annoying verification word  again!

credit:   http://style-delights.blogspot.com/2012/04/how-to-turn-off-verification-codes-for.html

About the author: http://style-delights.blogspot.com/p/about-me.html

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

credit:  Amazon.com

Among the articles that I found and reported, you will find easy to make foods and recipes and I’ll also be reading this Kindle book for free! I hope it's still FREE by the time you get there to check on it.  This is link:  http://www.amazon.com/Fight-Now-Proactively-Against-ebook/dp/B00433U5EG

Dr. Tabor’s FIGHT NOW book provides information on lifestyle choices that might improve breast health and overall health. The purpose of Dr. Tabor’s medical research is to empower you to become proactive against breast cancer now with specific food and lifestyle choices. We can make specific food and lifestyle choices to lower the risk of getting breast cancer, risk of recurrence, and risk of dying from breast cancer. The only alternative is to be reactive after you get breast cancer or have a recurrence of breast cancer. 

The choice is clear.  Whether you are currently fighting breast cancer; are a survivor; or, simply trying to lower your risk, Dr. Tabor’s FIGHT NOW book will give you concise, critical information that you can start using today. You don’t have to read hundreds of pages, or have a medical degree to reduce your cancer risk. Spend just a few hours reading this book and you will be empowered to Fight Now.

One of the foods TO EAT are:

Yogurt

Recent studies have shown that yogurt increases levels of anti-cancer compounds in animals. Look for yogurts with live, active cultures in order to reap the cancer-fighting benefits. Remember to buy brands labeled "contains live cultures" rather than "made with live cultures."

Plus, if you think yogurt is just for breakfast, think again. This creamy staple is the base for everything from delicious Mediterranean-inspired dips to indulgent (and surprisingly healthy) desserts.

You can read the rest of the article and get all the great recipes here:  http://www.ivillage.com/cancer-fighting-recipes/3-b-290068

As researchers continue to wage war against cancer, many have begun to focus on what could be the most promising ammunition to date: diet.

"The easiest, least-expensive way to reduce your risk for cancer is just by eating a healthy diet," says Rachael Stolzenberg-Solomon, PhD, MPH, RD, a researcher at the National Cancer Institute.

“When it comes to a diet rich in cancer-fighting substances, most experts agree that it should consist of a predominantly plant-based diet. "If you have two-thirds of plant food on your plate, that seems to be enough to avoid excessive amounts of food high in saturated fat," says Karen Collins, RD, nutritional advisor for the American Institute for Cancer Research."

That seemingly simple advice could mean a drastic change in diet for many people.

"People who are thinking that this is like a diet, and are trying to choke this stuff down, it's never going to last," Collins tells WebMD. "You're looking at creating something for a lifetime. If it takes you awhile, but each month or so you enjoy [one more vegetable], then that's great," Collins.

You may want to start with some of the following food substances, all of which show promise as cancer-fighting agents. http://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/top-cancer-fighting-foods

If you’re like me, you are always looking for the best foods to fight illness, weight gain and other maladies.  I’m also looking for the most nutritious, affordable, and those that create a healthy lifestyle of food choices.

  Day 3:

Homemade Healthy Dog Treats for all dog diets

credit:  pumpkin apple dog treats made by Pumpkinista

The dog food industry is quickly moving from "regular" dog treats to special diet dog treats!  We have made our own dog treats for years and used to give them away to the local animal control kill shelter, wolf rescue, and our neighbors dogs.   One event that I like and we will be doing this year is a Halloween Party for Pups!  I'll share more about that party and show you the treats in other articles here.

Our homemade dog treats will be for special diets which are all made with coconut oil and meet the USDA guidelines, and the run-of-the-mill chicken egg, whole wheat flour and special ingredients.

We will also be making dog cupcakes.  Don't worry, we'll have a fancy name for them!  These are going to be offered in various flavors and options for buying them...  dry mix or cooked.  They will also follow the special diets and then regular diets.

Mary Straus is the owner of DogAware.com.  She shares important information about dog's diets and what should and should not be included if making your own dog food here: http://dogaware.com/articles/dietcritique4.html


We have recipes that have been adapted from nutritional and veterinarian cook books for dog food and recipes and some that we handed down from our friends and colleagues.

One of the considerations in the future will be subscription boxes.  We will donate some of the proceeds to dog chartities. 

Some charities that are often overlooked are Dogs with Special Needs, Military Dogs, and dogs for people with special needs.
These are the ones that we will be donating portions of proceeds to. 

Marketing is something that I learned the most from bloggers during the last Ultimate Blog Challenge.  I kept wondering why I always followed "coaches."  Now I know. 


Here, Danny Maloney, co-founder and chief executive of Tailwind, a social-media marketing intelligence firm company that builds tools to harness the power of social data offers four ways companies can better leverage their social-media presence into an effective marketing tool:

1. Use a targeted approach.
Fostering wide scale awareness on social media in the same manner as huge brands isn't economically feasible for small- to medium-sized companies. Instead, Maloney says companies with more modest budgets should spend their time and resources on the customers they're most likely to convert.
"With the right tools you can monitor keywords and phrases related to your business" and respond to what customers, fans and even detractors are saying in real time, Maloney says.
Mention, for example, is a simple program that lets users track mentions of their brands across Facebook, Twitter, RSS and the web at large. Tagboard is a similar program used to monitor hashtags on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine and Google+. Based on the query, the software puts together a curated display of content from various social platforms.
Related: 3 Annoying Social-Media Mistakes Businesses Need to Avoid

2. Let your fans know you're listening.
Unlike other mediums -- like print and broadcast -- social media isn't a one-way channel, it's a conversation and brands have an obligation to be responsive.

"Brand advocates want to know that you're there and that they're heard," Maloney says. "If they took the time to share a blog post you wrote or to give you a positive review, be listening for it and thank them."

Some companies take it a step further by using their strongest brand advocates as a source of ongoing marketing content by asking fans to write testimonials or guest blog posts. "[Customers think] 'this company actually cares, they're listening, I'm going to go tell more people about them,'" Maloney says.

3. Target your special offers.
The customers who already sing your praises on Twitter and Facebook sometimes need a just little nudge to keep them coming back. So as you thank them, consider offering them an incentive, such as a discount, to visit your business one more time.

It lets customers know you're listening and that they're valued, turning them into an even stronger advocate and a repeat customer.

Related: Are Your Fans Among the Most Social on Facebook? (Infographic)

4. Curate compelling content.
One way brands can develop meaningful relationships with their fans and customers on social media is by finding and sharing interesting content around a specific set of topics. Larger brands are expected to publish content on par with quality magazines, but Maloney says companies of any size can develop an effective content-marketing strategy.

"You have to build relationships with people, engaging them based on an interest and not just going into a sale right away," Maloney says. "If you're a consumer-facing company, it's more important to share something that's interesting and sharable so your audience will propagate the message."


This topic will be a running theme for the month of October as we hope to bring you some exciting news in time for Halloween! 

credits:
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/228680

Almondina Incredible Cookie Giveaway Oct. 2 - 16, 2013

Welcome to the Almondina Incredible Cookie Giveaway!

Sponsored by: Almondina

Hosted by: Savory Savings

Co-hosted by: Conversations with Carolyn

It is an unfortunate truth that we have mostly accepted the fact in America that “diet” or “good for you” food must taste bad.  Need to eat more foods with no trans fats or no cholesterol?  Prepare to be bored to tears while you eat and not be satisfied, especially if it is a little treat you are after.  That has all changed!  More than 20 years ago, a young man, already well-known as a symphony conductor and gourmet chef, decided to bring to the masses, a delicious, nutritious and all-natural cookie, created many years before by his beloved grandmother.  Almondina (so named for his grandmother!), quickly grew in popularity for their ease to eat, delicious flavors and powerful list of ‘no’s”.  These cookies have no cholesterol, no trans-fats, no preservatives and no salt!  Do you get any better than that?



Krista over at Savory Savings had a chance to check out these delightful cookies and shared her favorite ways to enjoy many of Almondina’s flavors.  Be sure to take a minute to check out her review to see what Almondina has to offer!

Would you like to win an assortment of Almondina All-Natural Cookies?  This giveaway is open to US residents, ages 18 and older.   The giveaway will run from October 2, 2013 through October 16, 2013 at 11 PM CST.

Gone in 60 seconds!

Do you want to know what goes over the lips and down to the stomach in 60 seconds?  The #GOTITFREE Special K Nourish™ Cranberry Almond, Lemon Twist and Dark Chocolate Nut Delight Nourish Bars! 

I opened the box from Bzz Agent and opened these bars before I ever took pictures of them.  The first bar was gone in 60 seconds!  That was the Lemon Twist!  Real Ingredients! Real Delight! A hearty multi-grain blend with oats, wheat, barley and quinoa combined with real lemon and citrus peel.  I felt like I was a judge on Top Chef judging these homemade bars! The bars are a hearty multi-grain blend of quinoa, oats, wheat and barley, it’s a good source of protein and fiber*. Take all that goodness and combine it with real lemon and citrus zest and you’ve got a tasty treat that is anything but boring! Only contains 6g total fat per serving and that makes me love love love these bars and have them in my food pantry ALL the time! 

I am so used to low fat, low calorie nutritious bars that are hard to chew, dry, lacking real ingredients and too expensive for a second try. 

I #GOTITFREE coupons as well and I hope to see more in the Sunday papers or I think I will write Kellogg's and ask for coupons to try this again.  And I will definitely buy them off the shelf no matter how much they cost.  So far we haven't been able to get the product in our Kroger store so we will try other grocery stores that are further away from us.

Special K Nourish™ Cranberry Almond Nutrition Bars are made with a unique multi-grain blend with superfoods like quinoa, oats, wheat and barley, then combined with the great taste of real cranberries and crunchy almonds.

You can get all that flavor plus a good source of protein and fiber* all for less than 200 calories!  That's what I call a great deal and a great tasting bar for me when I'm on the run and can't stop for a meal.  I plan to put some of the Special K lemon twist, cranberry almond and dark chocolate nut delight bars in my handbag! 

I found the cranberry almond bars to be chewy and savory.  Since the ingredients of the cranberry almond bars to be similar to the ingredients that I can eat on the DASH DIET  ( http://dashdiet.org ).

All of the bars are permitted on my Dash Diet and Lifestyle plan.
This is very important in my meal plan and to my doctor!

Special K Nourish™ Dark Chocolate Nut Delight Nutrition Bars boast a unique multi-grain blend with superfoods like quinoa, oats, wheat and barley, combined with dark chocolate, almonds, peanuts, and cashews. Each bar is crunchy, sweet and a good source of fiber* and protein. My husband ate most of this bar and gave me a taste so that I could get his opinion of the bar!  He said that he would like to buy more of these bars and substitute them for the dark chocolate bars that are in the pantry.

If If I can afford it, I will put these in the children's trick or treat bags for Halloween.  I will put a note in each baggie containing the bar, telling the parents just how good they are for them and their children! I really don't like giving candy for Halloween to the children because it's not good for them.  So I will think about this for their treat. 

*I was provided with these products for my review as a BzzAgent. Any opinions are 100% my own. 

 

Harvest Halloween Blog Tour 10/1 - 10/15/13 USA/Canada Only

Welcome to my Harvest Halloween Blog Hop organized by Holly at Hollybee Tells. I’m happy to have you here and am very excited to give out some great Halloween prizes!

 

About the Hop

 

This hop includes many different blogs, each with their own giveaway or giveaways! On each blog one giveaway must equal $25 or more! That means there are some great prizes in store for you!

I Love Halloween. The spooky movies, costumes, and candy! What could be better? I have so many fond memories of childhood Halloween festivities. I can remember coming home from school, getting dressed, and heading out to walking the neighborhood in search of candy and other forms of deliciousness. One of My favorite activities from childhood, that continues to this day, is watching family friendly Halloween Films. Now I am a HUGE Horror fan, but there is just something about the family films at Halloween. It's something I can do with the kids in the family , and let's face it, relive my childhood over and over.

Top 5 Favorite Family Friendly Halloween Films.

1. Hocus Pocus

2. It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown

3. The Halloween Tree

4. Halloween Town

5. Casper

 

As part of the Halloween Harvest Blog Hop Erica is giving away 3 glittery body gels and powders to help you create the ultimate family friendly Halloween Look!

Must be 18 yrs or older to enter - Winner Must Reside in the US or Canada.

 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sharing Courage: I've Gone Pink!

I’VE GONE PINK!

TO SUPPORT THE FIGHT AGAINST BREAST CANCER!

When we reach 1 million downloads, Ralphs communications, including our emails, websites, Facebook and Twitter, will go pink! Plus, Yoplait will donate an additional $50,000 to Susan G. Komen.

HOW IT WORKS:

1. Load the digital ribbon to your Ralphs shopper card.
2. Share with friends and family to help us reach our goal of
    1 million ribbon downloads.
3. Watch us go pink!

You can also help the Kroger Co. Family of Stores and participating partners in the fight against breast cancer! Look for specially marked tags and special packaging in store on participating brands.
In total, we’re donating $3 million to breast cancer research, detection, treatment and prevention programs in your community. All of these funds stay in the cities and towns where our Customers and Associates live and work. Learn more at SharingCourage.com.

Follow the conversation on Twitter: #sharingcourage

The Greeks are alive with the Mediterranean Diet!

Photo Credit mediterranean snack image by permission from Fotolia.com 

 

 

The Greek diet, also known as the Mediterranean Diet, is an alternative way of eating that has been adopted in the United States. Food sources include fresh fruits and vegetables as well as lean meats.

Photo Credit:  http://oldwayspt.org/resources/heritage-pyramids/mediterranean-pyramid/overview

Mediterranean Diet Pyramid

The Mediterranean Diet pyramid begins with a base of daily physical activity. The bottom layer includes bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, couscous, polenta and other whole grains. These foods should be eaten most often throughout the day. Above this group are fruits, vegetables and beans, legumes and nuts. Each of these foods should also be eaten daily. Fats, including olive oil, and dairy, including cheese and yogurt, are other foods that should be consumed daily. The top portion of the pyramid includes foods that should only be enjoyed weekly or monthly. Fish, poultry, eggs and sweets should be consumed on a weekly basis. Red meats are at the top of the pyramid and should make up the smallest portion of your diet by consuming only a couple times per month. The Mediterranean Diet pyramid also includes water and wine in moderation as beverages.

Fats

The Greek diet is high in fats from olive oil and nuts, but the fat in these items is monounsaturated. The American Heart Association recommends consuming monounsaturated fat as a way to reduce LDL, or bad, cholesterol levels. This type of fat also raises HDL, or good, cholesterol levels. Americans usually consume more saturated fats than monounsaturated fats in their diets.

Grains

The Greek diet is based on various types of grains. Baking bread and having various fresh types of bread available to consume throughout the day are quite common. In addition to breads, side dishes include polenta, potatoes, brown rice, and couscous. Pasta and whole-grain pasta may also be used in an entree dish.

Meals

In Greece, friends and families eat meals together in a social setting. They prepare fresh produce that they grow on their own land, collect milk and eggs from their own animals and may even have their own animals for slaughter. Food quality is fresh, and meals are prepared as a family. In the United States, meals are often consumed on the road or in front of the television. Having one meal per day as a family at the table is a bonding experience. It also allows you to eat slowly and enjoy your food.

Fruits and Vegetables

Fresh fruits and vegetables are a staple of the Greek diet. Locals in the Mediterranean consume produce several times throughout the day. Produce is seasonal, but tomatoes and cucumbers are usually available year-round. In the United States, you have access to all types of produce any time of year. To select the freshest produce possible, choose items that are grown locally and are seasonal. For example, butternut squash is readily available in the fall, while berries are plentiful in the summer.

References

• Oldways: Mediterranean Diet Pyramid
• American Heart Association: Fats & Oils

Parents defending their children's poor behavior is on the rise

Brian Holloway says he's been threatened for going public with the names of teens he believes trashed his upstate N.Y. home. Image Credit:  ABC NEWS 10

Whether or not you are a NFL fan, you must have seen this story splashed all over TV, Social Media and the radio!

If Brian Holloway thought the hundreds of teenagers who destroyed his home were ruthless, wait until their families are through with him.

Several parents are reportedly considering lawsuits against the former NFL star after he posted their children's names on a website created in the wake of the Labor Day weekend house party.

The website, www.helpmesave300.com, identifies over 100 of the estimated 300 house-crashers who trashed his upstate New York residence, and includes photos and tweets that documented the reckless destruction.

But rather than apologize to Holloway for their children's behavior, some parents have contacted their lawyers to see what legal action they can take against the former Patriots and Raiders offensive lineman, local affiliate ABC News 10 reported.

We've got irresponsible parents protecting their irresponsible kids and now we get to the nitty gritty of this.

image credit:  Gary Knox

Gary Knox explains how NAGGING and YELLING at your child doesn't work!    My mom and dad used nagging and yelling and I purposed in my teens that I would never be the same kind of parent as mine.  I purposed first in teaching to BE POSITIVE and that continued on in life.  I try to remain positive to my adult sons who are experiencing some rough times right now.  There's a hard time in being "present" and listening but not "over powering" with advice.  Communication is such a big factor in parenting.


This should help everyone (responsible parents and irresponsible parents):

An OP ED that everyone should read about Parents Defending Irresponsible Kids.

This information may be invaluable to you, The Calm Parent AM and PM.

I think this article is a great way to empower ALL parents.

Parenting Young Children with Behavior Problems

"Some children present special parenting challenges. We often label them "difficult" or "disobedient" or even "bad." These children don't intend to try their parents but rather are born with a challenging temperament.

Unfortunately, most young children with behavior problems provoke negative reactions from adults. These reactions tend to make the child's behavior worse, starting a harmful pattern that can continue throughout a child's life (Mandal, Olmi, Edwards, Tingstrom,& Benoit, 2000).

Constructive reactions, on the other hand, can help children improve difficult behavior. With the help of researchers who have studied children with difficult behavior, parents of difficult children can learn how to interact constructively with their child (Forehand and Long 2002).

Temperament, Parenting, and Behavior: A Continuing Cycle

A child's temperament, or behavior tendencies, is an inborn trait. Researchers Forehand and Long (2002) believe that temperament problems can create a negative cycle between parent and child. A child with a difficult temperament behaves badly, and in turn his parents react with ineffective or inconsistent discipline. This cycle has to be broken (Forehand & Long, 2002). Below are parenting habits that can contribute either positively or negatively to this cycle.

• Modeling. "Modeling" is learning by watching others. Children tend to do what they see others do. If parents or siblings model bad behavior, a child is likely to behave badly in the same ways.
• Reinforcement. "Reinforcement" is rewarding a child for his behavior. Sometimes unacceptable behavior is unintentionally reinforced. For example, parents sometimes laugh at a bad word their child said because it seemed cute or funny. But laughter tends to reinforce a behavior.
• Punishment. It's easy to punish a child out of anger, but this reaction does more harm than good. Harsh punishment or using punishment too often can create feelings of resentment in a child. It also teaches him to obey just to avoid punishment rather than to obey because he understands right from wrong (Forehand & Long, 2002).
• Reciprocal escalation. This occurs when parents become aggressive toward their child because the child behaved aggressively. Reciprocal escalation tends to make a bad situation worse (Omer, 2001).
• Complementary escalation. This occurs when parents give in to the demands of a child (Omer, 2001). Rather than respond appropriately to aggressive behavior, parents ignore it so they can avoid conflict. Usually the more parents cave in to a child's demands, the more demands the child will come up with (Omer, 2001).

Strategies for Overcoming Difficult Behavior

Child development experts suggest a five-step method parents can use to help a child improve difficult behavior. The steps build on one another, so each one is important.

1. Attending

Attending is simply reinforcing desired behavior by describing it aloud with enthusiasm (McMahon & Forehand, 2003), such as "Look how high you're stacking your blocks!" or "You're talking with your inside voice." Attending can be a powerful foundation for changing behavior because it helps parents relate to their child through constant, positive attention. It also improves the parent-child relationship. (McMahon & Forehand, 2003).

2. Rewarding

Rewarding is showing a child approval for her good behavior. Rewarding doesn't take the place of attending but rather adds to it. As parents describe their child's appropriate behavior, at times they should add rewards and praise (Forehand & Long, 2002).

3. Ignoring

Ignoring is a very effective way to reduce a child's unacceptable behavior, and it is much easier to use than punishment (McMahan & Forehand, 2003). But ignoring should never be used alone. Instead, once your child stops the unacceptable behavior, immediately reward him for his now-acceptable behavior (McMahan & Forehand, 2003). Ignoring also should not be used when a child's behavior is potentially dangerous to himself, others, or property. Instead, use more active measures, such as a time-out (McMahon & Forehand, 2003). Examples of behaviors that can be ignored include whining, nagging, temper tantrums, and interrupting (McMahon & Forehand, 2003, p. 117).

4. Giving Directions

Parents sometimes give directions that are hard for a young child to follow. "Chain direction," for example, is when a parent gives several directions at once (Forehand & Long, 2002). Instead, parents should give one direction at a time. "Vague directions" aren't specific enough, such as "Behave yourself" or "Be nice." Instead, parents should say exactly what they want their child to do.
"Question directions" ask a child to do something rather than tell him (Forehand & Long, 2002). For example, "Will you please stop jumping on the couch?" Instead, parents should deliver their request in the form of a statement: "Please stop jumping on the couch."
Finally, directions are ineffective when followed by a reason. For example, "Pick up your toys because Grandma is coming over, and it would be nice if the house was clean when she got here." Instead, parents should make sure the direction is the last thing a child hears. For example, "Aunt Laura is coming and it would sure be nice if the house was clean. So please pick up your toys." (Forehand & Long, 2002).

5. Using Time-outs

It takes time to help a child change difficult behavior. Even if you're using all the right techniques in all the right ways, your child might continue to behave badly, especially at the beginning stages of using a new approach. Time-outs are a helpful consequence for non-compliance, especially when they're used consistently (Forehand & Long, 2002).

Promoting Changes in a Positive Environment

While helping a child change is not easy, it can become easier and more effective when he or she has a positive environment. Parents can do many things to make the environment of their home more positive. Forehand and Long (2002) suggest the following:

• Have fun with your child.
• Communicate "I love you" often.
• Have structure and routines.
• Participate in family traditions and rituals.
• Be a good listener.
• Request feedback from your child and take turns talking.
• Work on developing patience.
• Build your child's self-esteem.
• Help your child solve problems with peers.

Conclusion

While helping your strong-willed child change his behavior is not easy, it is very important. The progress may come slowly. It will require much time and patience, and at times you might feel like his behavior is not improving. When you feel discouraged, it might be easy to slip back into old discipline habits, but it's important to stay constant in your efforts. If you do, you will eventually help your child improve his behavior and you will strengthen your relationship with him (McMahan & Forehand, 2003).

Written By McKenzie Young, Research Assistant and edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University"


References Forehand, R. & Long, N. (2002). Parenting the strong-willed child. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Magg, J. W. (2000). Managing resistance. Intervention in School and Crime, 35(3), 131-140.

Mandal, R. L., Olmi, D. J., Edwards, R. P., Tingstrom, D. H., & Benoit, D. A. (2000). Effective instruction delivery and time-in: Positive procedures for achieving child compliance. Child and Family Behavior Therapy, 22(4), 1-12.

McMahon, R. R., & Forehand, R. L. (2003). Helping the noncompliant child. New York: The Guilford Press.

Omer, H. (2001). Helping parents deal with children's acute disciplinary problems without escalation: The principle of nonviolent resistance. Family Processes, 40(1), 53-66.

Whaler, R. G., Vigilante, V. A., & Strand, P. S. (2004). Generalization in a child's oppositional behavior across home and school setting. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 37, 43-51.


I hope that any parent, young or older and responsible and irresponsible has picked up some gem of information here today. 

Do you have some nuggets of advice to give?

Vtech Giveaway!

Thank you vTech for sponsoring this

Here is a little about vtech from the company website

VTech, the creator of the Electronic Learning Products (ELP) category and the award-winning InnoTab, MobiGo, and V.Reader handheld toys, is a world leader of age-appropriate learning products. Since 1980, VTech has been developing high-quality, innovative educational products that enrich children's development through fun and smart play.

 

Here is a little about Cora the Smart Cub™ from the company website

Cuddle, learn and play with Cora The Smart Cub™ by VTech®! Playtime becomes interactive as this cuddly learning companion responds to touches and hugs. Touch her hand and she'll ask you for a high-five or tickle her toes to make her giggle. Listen to Cora's heart beat by touching the light-up heart button and squeeze her tummy to hear special daily messages. As they play and learn, Cora familiarizes herself with your child’s daily routine and knows when its dinnertime, when to say good morning and more, greeting them with cheerful messages throughout their day. When it's time to turn out the lights, Cora says goodnight and lulls your child to sleep with soothing bed time music.

This is an amazing toy that I was so excited to try out. Cora the Smart Cub™ is intended for children 6-36 months, she has so colorful, has a super cute face and many different ways to learn. This also comes in Cody The Smart Cub™ for the little man in your life.

CONNECT NOW

VTech website – VTech Twitter - VTech Facebook

WIN ONE

One Lucky Winner will receive Cora The Smart Cub™ by Vtech - $19.99 Value

This giveaway is open to US residents 18 and over.

Enter in the rafflecopter below

GOOD LUCK

a Rafflecopter giveaway  

 

Disclosure: Conversations with Carolyn is not responsible for sponsor prize shipment. Event hosted by So Cal Coupon Mommy Please contact info@socalcouponmommy.com with questions or to see your business or blog featured on the next big event!

BLOGGERS: It's a Halloween Event (free)

It’s Halloween Event

Organized by: Mom Powered Media

Grand Prize: $500 K-Mart Gift Card

Event dates: 10/14 - 10/28

Open to US

Referral prize: $50 Amazon E-Code or Paypal Cash

Bloggers: Sign Up HERE

Motivational Monday: Inexpensive Cardboard Star DIY

This cute cardboard star was made out of a cereal box by Grey Luster Girl!! I love crafts that really add to your home but cost little to nothing and this craft fits that criteria perfectly! This would be cute in any color and would be a great addition for the 4th of July or Memorial Day or used in the rustic way for your home decor! Click on the picture to see the tutorial.

The Friendship Bread Book and Avalon Ladies Scrapbooking Society IntroductionI'

I'd like to introduce you to 2 incredible novels by Darien Gee

The Friendship Bread: A Novel

"In the quiet community of Avalon, Illinois, Julia Evarts wonders how to move on with her life. Though her husband and five-year-old daughter give her an abundance of love, Julia still reels from a tragedy that has left her estranged from the sister who was once her best friend. Meanwhile, across town, widow Madeleine Davis takes great pleasure in serving up delectable treats and cozy comforts at her tea salon—now, if only she had some customers to enjoy them. And famed concert cellist and recent Avalon transplant Hannah de Brisay finds herself at a crossroads when her career and marriage come to abrupt ends. The three strangers forge a friendship at Madeleine’s Tea Shop, and soon their camaraderie extends to everyone in Avalon in the guise of a unique and wonderful gift. But even as Julia becomes ever closer to her new friends, she realizes the profound necessity of confronting the painful past she shares with her sister.

Life and loss, friendship and community, food and family: Friendship Bread tells a spirited, remarkably moving tale about the triumph of hope."

I usually send this book to my GOOD friends in real life. I make the starter in a jar with a lid and give that to them and they usually give me a piece of the bread that they made with the starter!  The book is expensive but you can find some good deals online when you search for them!

The Avalon Ladies Scrapbooking Society: A Novel

"Perfect for fans of Debbie Macomber, Kristin Hannah, Beth Hoffman, and Kate Jacobs, this luminous novel from the author of Friendship Bread follows a group of fascinating women who form deep friendships through their love of scrapbooking—as memories are preserved, dreams are shared, and surprising truths are revealed.

Welcome to Avalon, Illinois, Pop. 4,243

At Madeline’s Tea Salon, the cozy hub of the Avalon community, local residents scrapbook their memories and make new ones. But across town, other Avalonians are struggling to free themselves of the past: Isabel Kidd is fixing up her ramshackle house while sorting through the complications of her late husband’s affair. Ava Catalina is mourning the love of her life and helping her young son grow up without his father. Local plumber Yvonne Tate is smart, beautiful, and new to Avalon, but finds that despite a decade of living life on her own terms, the past has a way of catching up—no matter where she goes. And Frances Latham, mother to a boisterous brood of boys, eagerly anticipates the arrival of a little girl from China—unprepared for the emotional roller coaster of foreign adoption.

Enter Bettie Shelton, the irascible founder of the Avalon Ladies Scrapbooking Society. Under Bettie’s guidance, even the most reluctant of Avalon’s residents come to terms with their past and make bold decisions about their future. But when the group receives unexpected news about their steadfast leader, they must pull together to create something truly memorable.

By turns humorous, wise, and deeply moving, The Avalon Ladies Scrapbooking Society is a luminous reminder that the things we hold most dear will last a lifetime."

“In a gathering of women there will always be compelling stories. Throw in a love of craft and these stories take on a whole new dynamic. There are shared secrets, support, encouragement, and love as the Avalon Ladies come to terms with the past and boldly step forward into the future.”—#1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber

I am a scrapbooking gal!  I love to do all kinds of scrapbooks.  I'm presently working on my dog scrapbook for my dog Sandie and I have won contests at my (then) local scrapbook store that I did in crops!  Well this is probably foreign language but on Thursday I will show you some pages I have done and pages I have won awards for and then the scrapbook that John (my husband) and I are working on in memory of my Mother In Law.  I will also share with you the story of how I taught my Mother In Law to do scrapbooking and show you pages from her books!  She has MANY!  I'm so glad that I have them now that she is no longer with us.  She has outdone me in the number of scrapbooks completed.  While she was scrapping at her home, I was working on local contests and crops that I made up for our group of women.

Questions:  Have you ever read either of those two books?  Is there one that you would like to read or share with someone else to read?  Are you a scrapbooker?  Do you know any scrappers? 

 

 

 

 

Keep Calm Candles Giveaway Aug 19- Sept 9 2013

Welcome to the Keep Calm Candle Giveaway!

Keep Calm Candles seen a drop in people doing things that they truly loved doing during the economical drop, so they created the Keep Calm Candles a message of encouragement to everyone. "Keep doing what you love" so the love of doing it will follow. Keep Calm Candles truly believes that with hope and positive thinking, there is light at the end of every tunnel and they want to help light up that tunnel with their Keep Calm Candles.

Keep Calm Candles are made right here in the US and are of high quality. Every single candle is hand poured using quality soy wax and high end fragrances that smell amazing! These candles are also unique to their competitors because of the simple fact that you can actually choose which fragrance you want in your candle, which allows you to have your favorite keep calm saying as well as your favorite fragrance. A win-win so you know you will love your candle! Keep Calm Candles are available in 15 different scents and you can choose from 45 different Keep Calm phrases.

Promoting bloggers please add at least 2-3 sentences of your own words here for SEO purposes. 

Let your bloggers know if you've tried a Keep Calm Candle, what your favorite wax scent is, etc.

Giveaway Details!

One lucky reader will have the chance to win their very own Keep Calm Candle, choose your own scent and Keep Calm phrase! This giveaway is open to US and Canadian residents whom are at least 18 years of age at time of entrance. The giveaway will end on September 2nd at 11:59p.m. CST. To enter for your chance to win, simply complete one, two, three or all of the entries in the Giveaway Tools form below. There is only one mandatory entry and the rest are optional. A winner will be chosen at random, emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. 

 GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!

Entry-Form

Disclosure: CONVERSATIONS WITH CAROLYN and all other participating blogs are not responsible for the fulfillment of this prize. The sponsor holds full responsibility. I received no form of compensation for this publication. If you have any questions, comments or concerns or if your a brand/company and would like to see your product(s) in a similar post, please contact Sarh at mamis3littlemonkeys(at)yahoo(dot)com .

It's very hard to tell people I can't do things due to my Chronic Illnessess/Diseases

Right now I am at at 10-20.  I would say that I fall into a 15 if it were on the chart above!  I am have severe symptoms and am in bed about 17 hours a day!  I was able to leave the house for 1 day this week which was yesterday and there was one day when I was hardly able to get online for more than 1/2 hr at a time and rest for two hours between the segments of 1/2 hours.  And that was for a total of 2 hours.  Most of it was LIKING pictures and groups I didn't belong to yet about Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness/Disease.  I am stopping right here to take a 1 hour break from the computer.  I will most likely need to take the pain pill if I wish to continue on the computer today doing the things I need to get done today and for that to be done I will need to be on no longer that 1/2 hour at a time (even with the pain pill). 

This is a close to perfect example of where all my chronic pain points are while sitting in a chair.  Never on the floor. 

Rest Ministries has shared:  

“What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? (Job 6:11)


One of the most problematic issues for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses is the “expectations game.” It is this endless game we can never win. When others, and even ourselves, have continued unrealistic expectations about our abilities, it often leads to disappointment and even discouragement.

I have tried hard to be realistic about my abilities and limitations due to illness. Yet like most of you, I want to believe I can do more, and accomplish more in spite of my illness than is often possible. I want to make promises, agree to do things that are often out of my reach because of illness. And when we make promises we cannot keep, we end up disappointing others and ourselves.

We are eager to please others, we want the approval of others, yet when we can’t meet their expectations, they become angry, we become angry, and we may even feel guilty, and no one is pleased with the outcome.

Perhaps one of the hardest things with our disabilities is to simply say: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” Honesty may not make everyone happy, but you cannot afford to make promises your disability is unable to keep.

Jesus tells us that “the truth shall set you free” (John 8:23). And though it may not make everyone happy, including ourselves, I believe truth and honesty about our abilities is a much better policy that “wishful thinking” that will surely disappoint.

Friends, we must be honest about our illnesses, even when it may not be what others want to hear.

Truth is a better, more sure standard, to live by than unreasonable optimism. Let us be hopeful, let us push our limits where we can, but let us also be honest and truthful when it comes to our illness and abilities, and then let God take care of the rest.

Prayer: Dear Lord, how we hate our limitations, but let us always be honest about them. Amen.